control yourself or someone else will

Simply put, this is a civilized society, and one of the components that make it so is order. To have order, control must be exercised. We are all responsible for controlling ourselves, and if we neglect to or lose control of ourselves, someone/something else will control us in some form or another. Of course it all starts with fear, and if you don’t control your fears, you’re open to a whole host of negative attributes such as perpetual anger, pessimism, negativity, anxiety, depression, paranoia, insecurity, greed, jealousy, selfishness, despair, loneliness, loss of self esteem and self confidence. These negative attributes, naturally, and especially the longer they are left unchecked, can lead to, of course, a whole host of negative actions and reactions [a list too long to name] that can negatively impact not only you but the loved ones who surround you,  which ultimately leaves you feeling like this is the worst life ever and there is no way things will get better. Funny thing is, the only person that has any control over how good or bad your life is… is yourself. What a conundrum, I know. This is why life can be so challenging and the world seem like such an ugly place: Fear is so common, it’s rampant. We all experience it to some degree or another. The more there is loss of control individually, the more we’re rubbing elbows with people who are constantly living in bad faith.

[For those not familiar with the term ‘bad faith’, it’s a philosophical concept where you deny yourself your constant, never ending freedom of choice, and believe that you are, in a sense, an inert object, at the mercy of circumstance. For example, people who constantly seek sympathy from others because they are – yet again – a victim of one bad situation or another are acting in bad faith. Instead of finding the courage to make the right choices, they are constantly making bad decisions (too afraid to realize they have choices) and suffering the consequences as though they believe that is their lot in life.]

I chose that example for it is a common situation and it is easy to paint a picture of how you can allow yourself to be ‘controlled’ by someone/something else – or at least make it feel like you don’t have control. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”? It’s like saying no one can take your power/control – you choose to keep it or give it away. Giving it away is what the title of this post is about: if you don’t control yourself, someone else will.

A silver lining, though, is that even if you give away your power and control, a fraction of a split millisecond later, you can choose to regain your power and control. You always have a choice at every moment.  Some choices are difficult, challenging.  Some only seem that way.  The other part of the silver lining is that when you’re done complaining how your life sucks and you decide to reclaim your power and control, what was once life never going “your way” turns into your life as you’ve always wanted it, more or less.  It’s funny that even though you want oh, so badly for your life to be better and for things to finally go your way for once, you would think that a whole army is in your way when the only thing stopping you is yourself.  We are so much stronger than we realize, and unfortunately, we too often use our powers against ourselves.  If we all used that immense power within ourselves in a positive way, we would all transform our lives into that which we all wanted for ourselves all along.

I know, if you are reading this and saying to yourself “but I’ve been living in fear for so many years/decades, it’s too late to do anything about it now”, it may seem like an insurmountable task and that you might as well not even try.  That will have to be another post at another time, but remember it’s that attitude that got you in this rut in the first place.  Nothing is ever “too late” and there is no “impossible”, just too unwilling/too afraid to live.  It’s your choice.  Always has been, always will be.  Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.


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